How to Choose Your First Sex Toy: 6 Questions to Help You Decide

How to Choose Your First Sex Toy

So, you’ve never bought a sex toy before? Maybe you’ve been lucky enough that someone has always bought them for you, or maybe you’ve never had the urge until now. Whatever the case, you are in safe hands here.

We’ve put together six essential questions you might want to ask yourself when picking your first sex toy.

Take this time to reflect upon your own wants, desires, oh, and pocket. And don’t forget, you can always add to your collection! But first things first…

1) How much do you want to spend on your first sex toy?

If it’s your first time buying a toy, you perhaps won’t know what to expect – but buying a more expensive toy can be a great long-term investment. It’s up to you whether you want to start cheap while you figure out what sensations you like, before whipping out the big bucks on the latest interactive sex technology

The likelihood with anything you buy, the more money you spend, the better quality it will be, and the longer it will probably last. So think about longevity and sustainability when spending money on your sex toys. 

That’s not to say that cheaper sex toys aren’t worth checking out as a starting point – just be aware you might be yearning for the upgrade sooner than you’d anticipated, once you’ve learned what turns you on the most.

2) What gender are you?

Perhaps too broad a question. Let’s narrow it down: What genitals have you got and what kind of pleasure do you want to experience? 

If you have a vulva you may want to start with clitoral sensation for your first sex toy. This could be with a simple bullet vibrator. If you enjoy G-spot pleasure, think about whether you would want a dildo or egg that vibrates or not. Perhaps dual clitoral and G-Spot stimulation is what you are after. There are plenty of rabbit-style vibrators for that. You can also check out our vibrator guide for more on clitoral, G-Spot and combined toys.

If you have a penis, there are many types of masturbation sleeve, including manual, vibrating, rotating, warming, sucking, and mouth, vagina, anus and miscellaneous types too. For more in-depth info, we’ve also written about these 8 considerations before you buy a sex toy for your penis.

Perhaps you have intersex genitals or are transitioning, a vibrating wand or specialised strokers could be more up your street. There are butt toys if you enjoy anal play – ang again, we have a beginner’s guide to anal toys to check out as well.

Enjoy nipple stimulation? Try these first timer vibrating nipple clamps. Or would you like to try heated, or suction sensations? If you have mobility issues, you may want to ensure the toy has an easy grip and larger buttons. 

3) What’s your relationship status?

Whether you’re single or not, you will want to figure out how exactly you are going to be using this toy. Alone, with someone else, or maybe multiple people? Luckily, you can use pretty much any toy with a partner. However, there are some toys that are specifically designed for couples use. 

Riding Solo

For first-time buyers who are riding solo, observe the way you enjoy masturbation and take that into consideration when buying your first sex toy. Would you want to add to your usual experience or try something completely new?

Coupled Up

70% of vulva owners struggle to climax from penetrative sex without clitoral stimulation. There are now a plethora of toys that cater to this:

  • Clitoral vibes, and couples vibrators for hands free stimulation during sex.
  • Cock rings for stronger erections and added clitoral sensation.

4) What materials are easiest to look after?

It’s always good to know the material of your sex toy, because it will determine what lubricant you can buy to go with it. Lube is your friend, but certain lubes are only compatible with certain materials. The big no-no is silicone lube with silicone toys. Your safest bet is to stick with water-based lubricants as they go with all materials. 

If you are buying a sex toy for your vulva, steer clear from lubes with sugar as this can mess with the vaginas pH balance. Oil-based lubes are great for butt toys as it doesn’t absorb as easily, and the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication. 

When buying your first sex toy, be sure to check the materials are body safe. We recommend silicone, ABS plastic, and other non-porous materials such as glass and metal. The more porous materials, commonly found in cheaper sex toys, include PVC, rubber, latex, jelly and “real-feel”, are still body safe – but need much more care when it comes to cleaning and storage. If not looked after properly can harbour bacteria and become toxic for the body. Read our guide on how to care for your sex toys!

Will you be enjoying your toy in the bath or shower? Maybe you’re a heavy squirter or enjoy golden showers? Make sure your toy is waterproof, and not just splashproof. 

5) Do you enjoy public displays of affection or are you a private person?

Discreteness and smart technology is something you may want to think about when buying your first sex toy. Whether your first toy is destined for the bedroom or the outside world, it’s likely you want it to be relatively quiet so as not to disturb your neighbours, or members of the public. 

Toys that connect to your smart device, tablet or phone, can usually offer a much bigger range of features. Such as long distance control – great for BDSM couple’s play or public fun. Not only that, if you are more private you can use the apps to create your own vibration patterns or connect to interactive content.

Read sex toy reviews. This will give you insight into the in-use experience.

6) Like, what’s your favourite colour?

Finally, colour is everything. Okay, maybe not for everyone. But when you are just starting to build your sex toy collection, you may want colours that match, or at least toys that you like aesthetically! Remember, you’re the one who’s going to be using it. Make sure it’s an object that you feel happy to purchase and happy to own. 

Read Next: Vibrator Guide: Clitoral, G-Spot, Combined Toys, Vibrating Eggs and Kegel Exercisers

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